I am sorry you are questioned about everything you are doing in life. I am sorry you feel that you need to explain to others why you are taking so long in school; didn’t pass the boards; didn’t get into graduate school; why you left your job; why you didn’t get that promotion; when you’re getting married; having a baby; buying a house or why you just simply decided to do things for yourself. I am sorry you lost friends along the way of trying to find yourself.
I know you’re exhausted. I know that your counselor or mentor at school told you that your GPA sucks, so it’s better for you to switch majors. I know that the class-mate next to you told you that “you get everything handed to you” when you busted your rear end getting what you wanted, or the time someone said “Oh, you’re actually smart!” when you aced that exam. When you lost a friend because you were prioritizing and things simply just got really tough. I know that sometimes you just want to sit in a corner and cry, because it seems like you’re working hard and not making any progress. You start to think you’re a failure and that you’re just never good enough. My love, you’re not a failure for working 40 hours a week and still going to school. You’re not a failure for putting others before you. You’re not a failure for loving someone excessively and getting hurt. You’re not a failure for having a baby before getting married. You’re not a failure for not wanting to get married or having children. YOU’RE more than enough. All your hard work and efforts are more than enough.
You don’t have to be a doctor or an engineer to be financially stable. You don’t have to stick through your major in undergraduate to satisfy your parents. You don’t have to graduate from college in 4 years. You don’t have to keep investing time in those that don’t understand your worth or your value. There is a thin line between compromising and sacrificing. It’s okay to make compromises, but it’s never okay to sacrifice your future because someone asked you to do things their way. Your sanity and peace of mind is much more important than satisfying others that don’t know your value. If that means accomplishing everything you want out of order and standards that this world has set for us, then so be it.
Life is always going to throw curve balls, and you’re going to keep falling on your face. All the times you fell on your face does not take away from the times you were standing on top, and the times you thought you weren’t going to make it… and you did? Take pride in that! Progress may be small, but it’s still happening. There are a million small goals you have to achieve to get to bigger ones, and when things get tough…just know you’ve got it. Keep going. You’re going to make it.
“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back”
– Abraham Lincoln
I’ve been there